Respect
and Love Our Parents
by
Siti Rubiah Mohd Yusope
MISDEV
14
(P-SM0055/14)
SXW 502
Blog Assignment
The Star newspaper article written by Shakuntala Devi, on March 2nd
2008 really caught my attention ever since I first read it. ‘Have you watched
them sleep?’ is the catchy title that I will never forget. In her article she
wrote:
“Have you
ever watched your parents while they were asleep? Your father’s body, once big
and strong but now, the big is withered and the strong is weaker. Wisps of grey
peek out from his hair, wrinkles now ‘scar’ his forehead and face. This man
works hard every day and would sacrifice anything to make sure his family is
provided for and his children get the best education possible.
Or how about
your mother, whose soft hands once cuddled and held you close when you were a
baby? Now, those hands are dry and rough, bearing evidence of the challenges
she faced just for us. This woman takes care of our daily needs, constantly
nagging and scolding us because of her love for us. But sadly, we often
misconstrue her love as control and unfairness.”
It was
actually a message that she received on her Friendster
account. The normal forwarded messages that normally she just scan briefly
before hitting the ‘delete’ box. The message is written in Bahasa Malaysia,
started with a simple question that caught her attention, and so did I. I admit it. I never watched my parents asleep. Watch and
reflect to the enormous sacrifices that they have given in raising us. Truthfully,
the phrase ‘respect and love your parents’ though it sounds simple, the
implementation is not as easy as one might think, especially when we do not
have the knowledge. The right
knowledge.
To begin
with, respect and love our parents is first and foremost, the command from Allah,
not from any individual or other creation. To list a few, Allah SWT exhorted in
al-Isra’, verse 23; al-Ankabut, verse 8 and al-Ahqaf, verse 15 and 16:
“And
your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him; and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old
age in their life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but
address them in terms of honour” (al-Isra’, 17:23).
“We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but
if they (either of them) strive (to force) you to join with Me (in worship)
anything of which you has no knowledge, obey them not. You have (all) to return
to Me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that you did” (al-Ankabut, 29:8).
“We have enjoined on man Kindness to his parents:
in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The
carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At
length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he
says "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Your favour which You
have bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work
righteousness such as You may approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly
have I turned to You and truly do I bow (to You) in Islam”. “Such are they from
whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by their ill deeds: (they
shall be) among the Companions of the Garden: a promise of truth, which was
made to them (in this life)”(al-Ahqaf,
46:15-16).
These
commands of Allah have outlined the duty one should perform towards parents. Prophet
Muhammad SAW also has taught us on how to serve our parents.
It was narrated from Mu’awiyah bin Jahimah
As-Sulami, that Jahimah came to the Prophet SAW and said, “O Messenger of
Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come to ask your
advice.” He said, “Do you have a mother?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then stay
with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.”
(Hadith No. 3106, Book of Jihad, Sunan An-Nasa’i,
Vol. 4)[1].
The message is clear from this hadith,
where serving the parents is a very important duty of every Muslim. The phrase
‘paradise is beneath the feet of mother‘, carries a meaning that a person may
achieve a place in paradise by serving and obeying his or her parents and as
well as by being kind to them.
When it is clear that the command to
respect and love our parents coming from the revelation, not from some fancy
ideas of mankind, then why the problems of disrespect to parents and elderly
are rising in today’s world. To some extent parents are abandoned in hospitals
during festive season. According to Syed Azmi[2]
(2015), the sad reality of children leaves their parents in government
hospitals during the festive season are rising. The reasons are unclear but
according to him, each year, the numbers seem to be growing[3].
Muhammad Nur Abdul Hafizh Suwaid (2010)
stated in his famous book ‘Prophetic Parenting’, it is important for each
individual to serve their parents according to what Prophet Muhammad has taught
us since the cycle will repeat in later life. The roles will reverse. The Prophet SAW is reported to have said:
“Obey your parents and treat them with kindness,
your children will be kind and obedient to you”.
Nonetheless this should not be the justification as
how we should serve our parents, even if they have abandoned and treated us
badly. Each and every individual should aim to serve parents rightly while they
are still alive or even when they have returned to the Creator.
In
another hadith[4],
Prophet SAW said:
“Whoever wishes to be kept away from the Fire and
admitted to Paradise should have death overtake him while he believes in Allah
and the Last Day and should treat people the way he wants them to treat him.”
(Sahih Muslim)
Hence it is important to all
of us to strive to be the best mankind by fulfilling our duty towards the
Creator and towards each and every individual in this world, especially our
parents. Nation is build from a single individual, then a family and later is society.
It is obligatory to all of us in seeking the right knowledge so that our actions
are based on solid foundation and not blindly performed.
REFERENCES
Al-Qur’an.
Muhammad
Nur Abdul Hafizh Suwaid (2010). Prophetic Parenting. Yogyakarta,
Indonesia: Pro-U Media.
Shakuntala
Devi (2008). Have you watched them sleep?
The Star, 2 March 2008. Retrieved from http://www.thestar.com.my/story/?file=%2F2008%2F3%2F2
%2Flifefocus%2F18766748&sec=lifefocus
Susan
Tam (2015). Charity Hero Syed Azmi
Inspires Community Projects Amongst The Youth. Retrieved from https://catalystasia.wordpress.com/2015/02/18/
charity-hero-syed-azmi-inspires-community-projects-amongst-the-youth/
Parents rights and responsibilities
retrieved from http://www.quranandhadith.com/ parents-rights-and-responsibilities/
Until he loves for his brother what he loves
for himself retrieved from http://en.islamtoday.net/artshow-427-3219.htm
NOTES
[2] Syed Azmi is a pharmacist and social
activist who initiates various charity programmes and inspires young people to
be a do-er. More details, see https://www.facebook.com/SyedAzmiOfficial/
[3] See
http://womensweekly.my/work-n-family/relationships/why-are-the-elderly-spending-raya-alone-in-hospitals/
